Bunt (verb)

Bunt (verb): to apply bunting

• He bunts
• She bunted
• They are bunting

Bunting

As promised, here's a not-too-great photo of half of my test bunting. It looks better if you can see the whole strip at once but that's one of the disadvantages of circular things. 

Still to settle: the argument about exactly how high bunting should be.

And, entirely unconnected: sometimes I love the fact that I live by the coast. And having a phone with a camera comes in handy too.

There is Custard Where My Milk Should Be

I don't have much of a readership but, what few readers I do have, have been pointing out that I haven't posted much recently. This is because I've been busy. Not so busy that I haven't listened to any radio or done any knitting, only so busy that I haven't had time to write about radio and I haven't done any interesting knitting.

I'm now less than a week away from my far-too-over-hyped trip to London, during which all attempts to keep this blog on a knitting and radio theme will be entirely abandoned. As will any attempt at making posts of a sensible length as it turns out that my phone is incompatible with all but the most costly bluetooth keyboards. Is it a good thing if your phone has more expensive tastes than you do? Probably not.

This weekend I have been finishing off a prototype for attaching bunting to pillars in work, following a staggeringly bargainous find in St Nicks market in Bristol: 25m of 1inch elastic for £4! I'm not going to attempt to describe just how excited I was to get 25m of elastic for £4 and, quite frankly, I'm not sure it would do me any favours if succeeded. I'm not certain that anything you can buy in St Nicks market justifies that level of enthusiasm.

Still, I now have seven little buntlettes/bunts/buntlings/flags/pennants (delete according to taste) mounted on a pillar-sized length of elastic and, if it works, I'll post a picture tomorrow.

In what was left of the weekend I have cooked a pork and cider hotpot (containing more cider than I'd happily admit to) and I've baked apple crumble slices. This has resulted in the scandalous appearance of half a tetrapack of cold custard in my fridge's milk area, typifying the reckless disregard for the normal order of things and the general decay of everyday life that is probably only natural in the run-up to a holiday.

Anyway, although I've been listening to plenty of radio while I've been knitting and baking, it turns out that all my thoughts are rather boring at the moment. So, instead, here are some pictures of the thing that has been keeping me busy over the last few weeks. I proudly(ish) present an amateur masterpiece illustrating what happens when knitting is combined with over-ambitious development and liberally seasoned with a lack of any coherent design:

The part that I'm quite pointlessly happy with is the exporting. Depending on which options you select, you get very different results from the same canvas. But for some strange reason, no one seems quite as excited about this feature as I am.

All these sections come from the same starting pattern, just exported differently (yes, I'm aware that the colours are hideous, that's not the point)

Should anyone have a lot of patience and an unquenchable enthusiasm for amateur pattern programs with insufficient error handling, I'm more than happy to share.

A Simple Challenge

The great thing about knitting is that it's simple. "There are just two stitches", we insist to all the beginners, "Once you can do them, you can do everything". And it's true. Okay, so we brush over the issue of badly written patterns, lace charts that look like someone scattered broken keyboards on a scrabble board and yarn that's so hard to rip back that you'd almost rather set fire to it than start over. But at the heart of all knitting you'll find those two simple stitches that you can teach someone in ten minutes.

I think that's why I so quickly get bored of straight-forward knitting projects. I need the challenge of a new technique, something I have to find videos for on youtube or just the quest for the perfect pattern to match a particularly lovely skein that demands to have justice done to it. The stitches aren't new so the way in which I use them has to be.

In short: this is why I hate knitting squares.

There is absolutely nothing positive to be said about garter stitch squares. They do not promote imaginative knitting. They are not enjoyable. They don't even get many points for volume because stocking stitch goes further. They're not good for beginners because all they show is just how pointless knitting the same row over and over again can feel. And yet, year after year, group after group, there is the garter-stitch-square blanket.

Don't get me wrong, the charitable / community aim behind these projects is fabulous. Yes, let's help people. Let's cheer them up or offer them an opportunity to be welcomed into a new craft. From blankets for the homeless to therapy through creativity, knitting can do a lot of good. 

But really, come on knitters, the garter stitch blanket? We can do so much better! The resources we have to give don't stop at our time and the cheapest, nastiest poundshop acrylic yarn! We may be creating fabric with our hands (I'll never get bored of that) but it's our minds that are our strength! We take yarn and we shape it to our will. Is your will boring, mono-coloured and square-shaped? Because I know mine's not.

So this is why I have trouble getting excited about projects that involve knitting squares. It's also why I was not amazingly taken with the idea of knitting bunting for the office. Especially when the consensus seemed to come down on the side of garter stitch.

Knit. Knit. Knit. Knit. Knit. Knit and increase. Knit. Knit. Knit. Knit. Knit. Knit and increase. Knit. Knit. Knit. Knit. Knit. Knit and increase. Knit. Knit. Knit. Knit. Knit. Knit and increase. Knit. Knit. Knit. Knit. Knit. Knit and increase.... Bored yet?

Once again, I don't disagree with the output. I work in an office where any hint of personality gets eyed suspiciously by the people who seem certain that 'They' will disapprove.

"They won't let you keep those up," several people told me, shaking their heads with regret as  I hung my Christmas decorations last year (tasteful, honest!). "I like it of course but that sort of thing is banned."

Well, we've spoken to Them and They're all for it. In fact, They want to know why we've not yarn-bombed the office yet. So during the summer the somewhat soulless office will be fractionally more cheerful thanks to some knitted bunting. And it's not all going to be in garter stitch.

Because it turns out that there are plenty of things more challenging than following a complex pattern. And one of them just happens to be the challenge of finding an interesting way to knit something that would otherwise be properly, mind-numbingly boring.

Some (left) have been more successful than others (right)
Hopefully consistency of size is somewhat optional

And am I bored yet? No, I'm not even close.