Sunday 29 April 2012

Now With Added Pie

About a month ago I posted about Ed Reardon's Week and how long it had been since series four had been broadcast. Radio 4 then started broadcasting series eight a week later and I felt a bit stupid. Still, I'd tried out a few graphs before making that post and I ended up going with mostly bar charts because I thought it was the best, or probably only, way to represent the data.

Well, my anonymous commenter requested a pie chart - something I deride on an almost daily basis at work - and it made me think about whether I actually could use a pie chart to represent the number of broadcasts without losing the time component of the dataset. This was the result.

The chart (and all those that I post below) come with a massive set of caveats: The graphs represent distinct broadcasts of a series based on data from the relevant BBC page, though I've discovered that there are definite inaccuracies on those pages. Broadcast dates are taken from the last episode in a series. There is no data from before the mid-2007. The overall sector still represents the number of distinct broadcasts but the coloured areas have no direct significance. Each radial band represents a six month period.

Put simply: this isn't scientific. Think of it as a simplistic infographic that gives visual weight to more recent broadcasts.

Anyway, I realised almost as soon as I uploaded it that the chart was still inaccurate because it doesn't account for the original broadcast date and so I've now altered it slightly to remove the sectors which represent time before the first broadcast. Once I'd done this for Ed Reardon's Week I knew I'd have to do the same for more programmes because... Well, mostly because I'm not actually capable of leaving things like this alone.

The charts are  way more effective where there are a good number of series but I couldn't leave out Cabin Pressure and Bleak Expectations. And, just to make it clear, I'm not making a point with any of these (except for Ed Reardon  - series four please!). I'm just a curious data geek.
Bleak Expectations

Giles Wemmbley-Hogg

The Maltby Collection

Old Harry's Game

Cabin Pressure Ed Reardon's Week




Oh, and I'm sorry for the inconsistent labelling and font sizes. I don't have an excuse except that I did the charts over a number of nights, on some of which I got bored of labelling.

A big thank you to my anonymous commenter for making me challenge my natural contempt for pie charts!

Wednesday 25 April 2012

Apocalyptic Asperatus

Things have been a bit knitting-heavy lately so, while I listen to a bit more radio, I thought I'd post something completely different: some photos of asperatus clouds from my drive home yesterday.

I wasn't driving (obviously) but they are taken from inside a car so the quality of the photos aren't great.



I've not done anything to these photos, the sky really was that colour. Needless to say, it rained quite a lot last night.

Tuesday 24 April 2012

All These Things That I've Spun

Apologies for the popropriation, suitable only for fans of The Killers and spinning.

Back in December, I went to The Big Knit Show in Exeter. It was a great day out and I was completely overwhelmed by the wide range of lovely things I wanted to buy. My carefully crafted plan was to walk round the hall twice and plan what to buy before returning with cash. In theory I would then stick to my budget and buy only things that I definitely wanted.

What happened in practice was that I got halfway round the hall and fell in love with a merino/silk blend roving from Sara's Texture Craft. I didn't get a good photo of it but there's a good picture on the site.

I've only been spinning since last summer. In the first few months after learning, I spun pretty much anything I could get my hands on but I haven't actually made anything with what I've spun yet. I have a big bag of multi-coloured (and extremely multi-textured) yarn and only the vaguest idea what to do with them.

I spun the merino/silk blend before Christmas and navajo plied it. Since then it has sat in my knitting bag, begging to be made into something lovely.



It's difficult to be sure exactly how long a hand spun skein is (okay, it's difficult for me to be sure) but I figured it was around 330m, which isn't a lot, so it's been particularly hard to find the right pattern for this. But just before I went to London, I found Maluka on Ravelry, a fabulous free pattern that's extremely economical on yarn (and, fortunately, it has a chart that is clearly legible on a smart phone).

I didn't entirely follow the pattern, I added  a few repeats of the border to be sure I used as much of the yarn as possible. I also finished off with an eyelet row which I'd seen on a number of Ravelry projects.

I stayed up a little too late last night to finish knitting so I could get it blocking as soon as possible. I'm not sure I've ever been more impatient to block something. Because my spinning is so inconsistent there are a lot of areas that are far too tightly spun that have come out a bit hard and they've definitely been improved with the blocking.

The photos aren't great but hopefully it gives an idea of the final result. I'd recommend the pattern to anyone and everyone, I'm sure it looks even better in yarn that hasn't been spun by an incompetent beginner!

I knew there was a reason I bought fifty blocking pins

Friday 20 April 2012

Misti Alpaca Hand Paint Chunky

Ah, back to the comforts of home: a full-size keyboard and the ability to place images exactly where I want in a post.

Misti Alpaca Hand Paint Chunky. Possibly the softest yarn I've ever owned.


If I'm not too busy catching up on sleep this weekend, I plan to redo the images from the past few days to get rid of that nasty blocky effect. Sorry for that. But at least my worst fears - everything posting in Times New Roman - were unfounded.

Thanks to everyone who has been reading along this week and thanks for putting up with my badly typed ramblings.  Normal service shall be resumed shortly.

Thursday 19 April 2012

Loop

When knitters go to new places, either on holiday or just to a meeting somewhere exotic (Birmingham too), the first question that comes up is "are there any wool shops?" When I said I'd be going to London, the response was almost unanimous: "ooo, Loop"

One of the surprising things about London is its short supply of yarn shops. I've added a special "yarn" search to my places app and it keeps coming up empty. But Loop is probably the most prominent knitting destination in London and I can't quite believe it took me two days to realise that it's just up the street from where I've been staying.

After a bit of getting lost that resulted in me buying two books in Waterstones, I found Loop tucked into a little alley-way. At first glance it looks likes small but eclectic shop but it turns out that the downstairs houses only laceweight, 4ply and (first time I've seen it in England) sport weight. Upstairs there's a lovely selection of heavier yarns and a range of books and leaflets that eclipsed anything I've seen before. And they gave me a canvas bag inside a plastic bag so my stuff wouldn't get rained on. Lovely people!

Calling Loop a knitting destination sounds a little like a marketing line and it is, a little. But comparing it to most knitting shops is also unfair. Like most modern shops they run classes and offer great helpful advice but this is also a shop that has its own pattern book and that slight air of exclusivity is also apparent.

In my little town, knitting shops serve one purpose: they sell cheap wool to fairly uncreative knitters (lots of acrylic, lots of baby sets). Get Knitted in Bristol has a foot in both camps: they stock some fabulous small-scale yarn for addicts plus enough mainstream acrylic to satisfy traditionalists. As I walked into Loop I felt that they may as well have set up security detectors to alert them to any attempts by man-made fibres to gain a foothold in the shop.

And that's great, Loop is very definitely serving a different need to my local shops. Different and, without a doubt, more affluent. At one point I found myself lovingly stroking some cascade 220 as I realised it was almost twice what I'd pay in Bristol.

So, onto what I bought (pictures will have to follow, phone camera in a cafe doesn't do it justice). I fell in love with some breath-taking Yarn Collage in rich browns with silk and sequins woven in but I convinced myself that it wasn't really justified when I've not done anything with my Pixie Dust yet. So instead I bought two skeins of THE softest chunky alpaca that I've ever felt. Walking back from the udderbelly last night I was dreaming of a scarf/hood that would warm my neck and ears, so I think it'll be that. I also bought a German stitch dictionary with some of the most unusual lace patterns I've ever come across. Logically, this can only help me make more stuff. Therefore it can only result in a smaller stash. Therefore, I deserve more yarn. Scientifically proven.


Wednesday 18 April 2012

Udderbelly

Yup, giant purple upside down cow. Plus cider. Plus blue-cheese burger. I could get used to London.


Things I Have Learned

Things I've learned today:

1) never eat a cake just because you can't quite believe it exists. It required a fork and left me feeling a bit odd.

2) just because something has the same name as somewhere you're looking for, it doesn't mean it's close.

3) the British Library is a bit intimidating when it is empty.

4) the British Museum is very busy when it's raining.

5) there's a feeling you get when you buy new clothes, change into them and come out feeling like you should be on the run in a blonde wig with the evidence to expose a government conspiracy in your pocket. This feeling is sadly reduced when your quick-change involves swaping one brown jacket for another.

6) if you spend all day walking round London, you will get back and realise that you're really quite tired. You will not feel much like going out in the evening. You will be particularly dismayed to discover that the thing you're going to doesn't start until 9pm.

7) on certain phones, taking screenshots and saving pictures of the route you have walked are equally impossible.

I also met a lovely, lost Japanese lady who was looking for the British Museum. Apparently it's her first time in England and she'll be spending three nights here before going on to Loughborough. There's no way that's not going to be an anti-climax.

Also: whatever you're doing, whatever you're thinking of doing, disapproving head disapproves.



Manuscript in the Shape of a Tortoise

Yes, at the British Library you can see a manuscript in the shape of a tortoise. I think that people might be a little happier if more everyday items were in the shape of a tortoise.

They also have a display on maps that I haven't got close to yet because there is a large complaint of students learning about projection.

So I am sitting in the cafe contemplating how I'm going to eat the front-runner in the "most ludicrous food of this holiday" prize: a cake that is actually taller than my coffee.


Tuesday 17 April 2012

Snuffbox

I'm not sure what is more impressive: the fact that this is actually a teeny tiny mosaic or the fact that it features a polar bear apparently about to get into a fight with a dog over an apple.


A Knitting Group of One

If you knit in the V&A cafe, does it automatically become a study of the textile arts?


Monday 16 April 2012

Rewards

I've just been to a student art show, something I never did when I actually was a student. Art is something i've had little to do with but there were several things there that I really enjoyed. Thee were also a lot of people.

Recap time: a few months ago I discovered Kickstarter and on a whim I typed in knitting. What I found was a Bonnie Kate's Knitting the World project. She was looking for funding so she could buy yarn to knit a 7ft map of the world, highlighting the best areas for support of the arts.

Kickstarter is pretty great, I've only supported four projects so far but there will be more, I'm certain. If you've not use kickstarter before, the concept is simple: give people money so they can do their art/design/music/technology and, in return, get stuff!

For obvious reasons, the stuff is often digital. There are a lot of e-book rewards, mp3s and things that don't involve the trials and tribulations of international postage. For the map project, I'm getting a digital photo of the map, a special stitch in the location of my choice a new hat pattern. 85 people supported the project but I think I got one of he best rewards of all - I got to actually see the map and the little stitch that was there because of me (covering most of south west England).

Don't get me wrong, i'm all for digital rewards. But there's something pleasing about actually seeing the thing you helped to fund. To see and touch it. She's used some really lovely yarn. I'm going to continue supporting projects with digital rewards but I'm happy that, this time, I got to see the final finished, impressive product.

I met Bonnie Kate (as friendly and ebullient in real life as she's been in her update videos) and her mother (clearly extremely proud of her daughter). Also I learned that the map has already been sold to a man whose two great loves are knitting and maps. You've got to love the power of the internet.


An Appropriate Degree of Restraint

In a shock development, I have successfully managed to go 24 hours in London without buying yarn. 24 hours and 10 minutes to be precise.

I've seen recycled sari silk yarn before and I've always loved the soft, uneven texture with its haywire little filaments. The bright colours are eye-catching and lovely but I've always known I'd never find a use for it. Until now.

Yes, that is black sari silk yarn. Yes, I know it's supposed to be colourful. Yes, it does look quite a lot like a spider. And yes, I probably will make it into a scarf. I still think it's fantastic.
I'm writing this while getting ready to go out and see Bonnie Kate's 7ft knitted map of the world. So, hopefully, poor quality smartphone photos will follow later.




I Win

I've decided that every day I shall pick a tube station I have never been to and go to it then see what is there. The first choice seemed obvious.


Sunday 15 April 2012

John Finnemore's Priory Engagement

Okay, first full post on this tiny keyboard so please be patient with all the mistakes.

I've just got back from John Finnemore's Priory Engagement. For those of you with anything other than a perfect memory, it's the sketch try-out for a new series of John Finnemore's Souvenir Programme. If that still doesn't mean anything to you, just think "really great comedy that will be on the radio".

I don't know when the series will be on Radio 4 but, when it is, please, PLEASE listen to it. I promise that you'll laugh out loud. Please, just trust me and listen.

I know that I've gone on about John Finnemtore before but the man is really very talented and tonight only served to emphasise that fact. The idea that this was the *draft* version is crazy. In the fantasy world where I'm controller of Radio 4 there are several things I'd scrap and just replace it all with John Finnemore's mental cutting room floor. There's an attention to detail and timing in his writing, combined with a perfect understanding of his audience that all adds up to something great. And, beyond being a talented writer, he's simply a very funny man. I know they say the pictures are better on radio but I think radio where you get to see the actors doing silly faces might be even better.

Anyway. After the show was over (all too soon), I stayed around long enough to drink a coffee to counteract the effects of the gin I'd drunk to occupy myself while waiting for the show to start (I think a smartphone may well be the best invention ever for women alone in pubs with 45 minutes to wait).

While I was drinking my coffee and trying to plot a tube route back, several people were approaching John Finnemore, chatting with him and having their photo taken with him.

I'd like to say that my reluctance about this sort of thing is well founded. Years ago my sister and I got a pretty rude response when we asked a comedian we idolised to sign our tickets after a show. But that's not it. The truth is, I simply wouldn't know what to say.

The fact that my blog is 50% about radio probably makes my feelings on the matter clear: radio is important to people. Good drama carries you off to a different world but good comedy reaches down into YOUR world and makes it a little brighter and a little better. I'd like to think that, if I came face-to-face with any of the comedians or writers I respect, that I'd be able to tell them:

"Thank you. Not just for making me laugh today but thank you for every time you've made me smile. I know you might not realise it but you're not just entertaining people, you're making their lives better. It might be just a smile or a laugh but smiles and laughs can turn bad days around. Thank you for cheering me up when nothing else in my day was going well. Thank you for distracting me and reminding me that life isn't really that serious as I drive home with nothing but work in my head. Thank you for sharing your worlds and you words and your wit with us. Oh, and thanks to you, the people on the bus think I get weird facial spasms because i'm trying so hard not to laugh out loud. Thanks."

But I know what'd come out. "Thanks, that was great". Or, even worse, "I'm a big fan". Urgh. Probably with a very nervous laugh too.

The line betwen appreciation and crazy fangirl stalking can be a pretty fine one and I'm staying firmly on this side. I'll leave the talking to the people who can express themselves better, or at the very least, to those who are completely oblivious to the crazy fangirl line.

I will leave you with this, courtesy of Angel tube station:
(Actually, I've no idea where this thing is going to put the photo. Sorry.)

Freedom

Are they lost? Or do all hula hoops secretly long for the day when they might return to their natural tree-top habitat?


Friday 13 April 2012

A Mini Disaster

A little like a mini adventure, only smaller and with more situations of mild peril. I arrived in work this morning and was shocked to discover that my lego minifigures were just minutes away from drowning in a ball of yarn:


Not sure if the cheerleader in the background is cheering on their escape or their impending doom.

And, if that wasn't bad enough, my werewolf had lost his hair in my coffee.


Thursday 12 April 2012

Work is Following Me Home

I work for the Environment Agency and, at the moment, the drought is a Very Big Deal at work. It's not an immediate part of my job but there's no doubting the importance of the issue this year.

As I was driving home this evening, IThe Report began and it was about drought. Although comedy and drama are the reasons I turn the radio on, documentaries don't usually make me turn off. But I found my finger reaching for the off button simply because I didn't think I'd want to hear about the drought in my free time as well as in work.

But within the first couple of minutes I'd learned some key facts that I hadn't heard during the drought coverage of the past few weeks:
  • Running a hosepipe for an hour will use as much water as a family of four would use in a weekend
  • Twenty million people are under water restrictions
  • The environmentally friendly shower-length is four minutes
The message that hosepipe bans actually work to conserve water was loud and clear and that's something that can't be said too often.

The Report has a very educational tone. It felt a little like being back in school, watching an informative but rather dry programme on a subject I didn't really care about. There were a lot of facts on a lot of drought-related issues to take in. And, by the time it reached the section on leaks from the pipe network, my mind was wandering a little. Hosepipes; stand pipes; potatoes; low-flowing rivers; abstraction licence reform; abstraction reduction; moving water across the country; fish; wastage in the pipe networks; and an apology for poor customer service from a water company... it was all a bit too much for one half hour.

But, if you want to know more about the drought I'd recommend that you listen to The Report. You can also take a look at Agency's drought map (for which my friend Angharad was partly responsible).

Continuing the environmental theme was Nature's look at how wood can improve rivers. River habitats are equally far from my area of work but I found it a lot more interesting. The programme stuck to its subject and explained it clearly even though the initial premise - "let's put wood in rivers" - seems simple but a little crazy considering the amount of effort that goes into preventing flooding. It was fantastic to hear people talking so passionately about what they wanted to achieve, without ignoring issues like flood risk and interest groups with conflicting needs. 

I think the mention of the Water Framework Directive may have completed my EA terminology bingo card for the night but, by the end of the programme, I wanted nothing more than to be sitting beside a gently meandering river while watching fish dart between tree branches.

Wednesday 11 April 2012

Bunting

As promised, here's a not-too-great photo of half of my test bunting. It looks better if you can see the whole strip at once but that's one of the disadvantages of circular things. 

Still to settle: the argument about exactly how high bunting should be.

And, entirely unconnected: sometimes I love the fact that I live by the coast. And having a phone with a camera comes in handy too.




Tuesday 10 April 2012

Personal History

I wish Plantagenet had been on in the nineties. History is a subject I couldn't warm to in school, it never seemed particularly real or important to me. Would that have been different if I'd had an enthralling radio drama to transform those names into people? Ummmm... Probably not. I really, really disliked history.

But, as an adult, I was more thoroughly drawn into the life of Henry V while listening to Plantagenet than I ever was during history lessons. Or, for that matter, during English GCSE as our unfortunate teacher tried desperately to make us love - or at least quietly tolerate - Shakespeare's Henry V. It was easier after we'd been to the RSC and seen a production starring a rather good looking actor as Henry, but that was not entirely the point.

If you've not heard Plantagenet before, please give it a go. Particularly if you think you have no interest in history. It's in its third series and, from what I gather on the BBC site, this is the last (no surprise really as they must be running short on Plantagenet kings by now). 

The first thing to say is that this is not a history lesson. What's the top fact that most people know about Henry V? That he won the battle of Agincourt. Well, Henry V: True Believers completely skips that and concentrates on two aspects of Henry's life: the time before he became king; and his marriage with the French princess, Catherine.

I don't remember much about Shakespeare's Henry V. It was about war and Shakespeare was setting out what it meant to be a good king. Also, I think there were some french puns. But, after listening to Plantagenet yesterday, I wanted to read the play again. I had never really understood that those events at Agincourt sat in the context of a wider and far more interesting life.  An arrow to the face? Burning old friends to death? Perhaps a victory in France is one of the less interesting thing about him.

I've loved Plantagenet since I heard the first series, it never fails to bring its historical figures to life. That's not to say that the story should be confused with cold, hard history. Far from it. One of the strongest themes of True Believers was the myth drawn up around Henry V which carved a path through the history books. It began before he took the throne and ended long after his death. Taking Mike Walker's version of Henry to heart would be as misguided as trusting to Shakespeare's fiction of Prince Hal, debauched youth reborn into a noble and exemplary king.

But this is drama. And it's spectacular drama. It makes you care, it makes you understand. It takes those dusty historical figures and throws them at you covered in mud and blood, wreathed in passion and hatred. A drama like this brings to life a world that would otherwise stay buried under half-remembered GCSE texts and the dry dates of history.

I'll take dramatic licence every time.

Monday 9 April 2012

There is Custard Where My Milk Should Be

I don't have much of a readership but, what few readers I do have, have been pointing out that I haven't posted much recently. This is because I've been busy. Not so busy that I haven't listened to any radio or done any knitting, only so busy that I haven't had time to write about radio and I haven't done any interesting knitting.

I'm now less than a week away from my far-too-over-hyped trip to London, during which all attempts to keep this blog on a knitting and radio theme will be entirely abandoned. As will any attempt at making posts of a sensible length as it turns out that my phone is incompatible with all but the most costly bluetooth keyboards. Is it a good thing if your phone has more expensive tastes than you do? Probably not.

This weekend I have been finishing off a prototype for attaching bunting to pillars in work, following a staggeringly bargainous find in St Nicks market in Bristol: 25m of 1inch elastic for £4! I'm not going to attempt to describe just how excited I was to get 25m of elastic for £4 and, quite frankly, I'm not sure it would do me any favours if succeeded. I'm not certain that anything you can buy in St Nicks market justifies that level of enthusiasm.

Still, I now have seven little buntlettes/bunts/buntlings/flags/pennants (delete according to taste) mounted on a pillar-sized length of elastic and, if it works, I'll post a picture tomorrow.

In what was left of the weekend I have cooked a pork and cider hotpot (containing more cider than I'd happily admit to) and I've baked apple crumble slices. This has resulted in the scandalous appearance of half a tetrapack of cold custard in my fridge's milk area, typifying the reckless disregard for the normal order of things and the general decay of everyday life that is probably only natural in the run-up to a holiday.

Anyway, although I've been listening to plenty of radio while I've been knitting and baking, it turns out that all my thoughts are rather boring at the moment. So, instead, here are some pictures of the thing that has been keeping me busy over the last few weeks. I proudly(ish) present an amateur masterpiece illustrating what happens when knitting is combined with over-ambitious development and liberally seasoned with a lack of any coherent design:










The part that I'm quite pointlessly happy with is the exporting. Depending on which options you select, you get very different results from the same canvas. But for some strange reason, no one seems quite as excited about this feature as I am.

All these sections come from the same starting pattern, just exported differently (yes, I'm aware that the colours are hideous, that's not the point)


Should anyone have a lot of patience and an unquenchable enthusiasm for amateur pattern programs with insufficient error handling, I'm more than happy to share.

Wednesday 4 April 2012

Situations

There's an episode of Futurama in which Fry has to write an episode of an Ally McBeal spoof sitcom in order to save the world from destruction at the hands of angry, TV-addicted aliens. What does this have to do with the return of Ed Reardon's Week yesterday? Bear with me, there is a connection. 

For those of you not familiar with Ed Reardon's Week, it pretty much does what it says on the tin. Ed is an impoverished writer who is barely surviving on his meagre repeat fees from a single episode of Tenko and several extremely implausible ghost written books. The episodes follow his desperate attempts to get by in life while he antagonises pretty much everyone around him. It's grumpy, wonderful and very Radio 4.

In Futurama (When Aliens Attack) Fry tries to write an epic storyline that will save the planet but, in the end, he concludes the episode by undoing all the progress the main character has made. As he puts it, "at the end of the episode, everything's always right back to normal." 

As I ranted previously, I've been listening to some past series' of Ed Reardon and, while I thoroughly enjoyed them, there's a definite pattern.  By the end of a series, Ed's career (or life) is teetering on the edge of exploding (or becoming comfortable). There was the promise of a new film deal, the viral success Elgar Writes (his blog in the voice of his cat) and his brief stay in the alms house sheltered accommodation. But, without fail, when the next series comes round things are always right back where they started. Ed is stretching every penny, writing eloquently vicious letters and poor Elgar is back to sharing his voles. 

So when I tuned in yesterday evening I felt quite certain that Ed would have found some spectacular and original way to destroy his blossoming relationship with Fiona (played by Jenny Agutter - another reason I felt certain Ed would be single once again). But far from it, he's now going to DIY shops on weekends and planning mini breaks in Paris. Okay, so he's still forced to scrounge the money to pay for his passport but it's a real change of pace, especially for such an established series.

I still have a pretty strong suspicion that Ed will be single again by the end of episode six but it's going to be interesting to see what he'll have to navigate for the next few weeks while trying to maintain the spark with the all-too-tolerant Fiona. After all, this is the eighth series and I imagine there are only so many ways in which he can vent his feelings about Jaz, Ping, Dave Wang and his writing class.

 There's an extremely thin line between the risk of becoming formulaic (Count Arthur Strong) and a "courageous" - Sir Humphrey style - decision to change the situation at the heart of your sitcom (3rd series of Revolting People). But, if there's any series that can walk that line without falling down one precipice or the other, I think it's probably Ed Reardon's Week.

Sunday 1 April 2012

A Simple Challenge

The great thing about knitting is that it's simple. "There are just two stitches", we insist to all the beginners, "Once you can do them, you can do everything". And it's true. Okay, so we brush over the issue of badly written patterns, lace charts that look like someone scattered broken keyboards on a scrabble board and yarn that's so hard to rip back that you'd almost rather set fire to it than start over. But at the heart of all knitting you'll find those two simple stitches that you can teach someone in ten minutes.

I think that's why I so quickly get bored of straight-forward knitting projects. I need the challenge of a new technique, something I have to find videos for on youtube or just the quest for the perfect pattern to match a particularly lovely skein that demands to have justice done to it. The stitches aren't new so the way in which I use them has to be.

In short: this is why I hate knitting squares.

There is absolutely nothing positive to be said about garter stitch squares. They do not promote imaginative knitting. They are not enjoyable. They don't even get many points for volume because stocking stitch goes further. They're not good for beginners because all they show is just how pointless knitting the same row over and over again can feel. And yet, year after year, group after group, there is the garter-stitch-square blanket.

Don't get me wrong, the charitable / community aim behind these projects is fabulous. Yes, let's help people. Let's cheer them up or offer them an opportunity to be welcomed into a new craft. From blankets for the homeless to therapy through creativity, knitting can do a lot of good. 

But really, come on knitters, the garter stitch blanket? We can do so much better! The resources we have to give don't stop at our time and the cheapest, nastiest poundshop acrylic yarn! We may be creating fabric with our hands (I'll never get bored of that) but it's our minds that are our strength! We take yarn and we shape it to our will. Is your will boring, mono-coloured and square-shaped? Because I know mine's not.

So this is why I have trouble getting excited about projects that involve knitting squares. It's also why I was not amazingly taken with the idea of knitting bunting for the office. Especially when the consensus seemed to come down on the side of garter stitch.

Knit. Knit. Knit. Knit. Knit. Knit and increase. Knit. Knit. Knit. Knit. Knit. Knit and increase. Knit. Knit. Knit. Knit. Knit. Knit and increase. Knit. Knit. Knit. Knit. Knit. Knit and increase. Knit. Knit. Knit. Knit. Knit. Knit and increase.... Bored yet?

Once again, I don't disagree with the output. I work in an office where any hint of personality gets eyed suspiciously by the people who seem certain that 'They' will disapprove.
"They won't let you keep those up," several people told me, shaking their heads with regret as  I hung my Christmas decorations last year (tasteful, honest!). "I like it of course but that sort of thing is banned."

Well, we've spoken to Them and They're all for it. In fact, They want to know why we've not yarn-bombed the office yet. So during the summer the somewhat soulless office will be fractionally more cheerful thanks to some knitted bunting. And it's not all going to be in garter stitch.

Because it turns out that there are plenty of things more challenging than following a complex pattern. And one of them just happens to be the challenge of finding an interesting way to knit something that would otherwise be properly, mind-numbingly boring.


Some (left) have been more successful than others (right)
Hopefully consistency of size is somewhat optional
And am I bored yet? No, I'm not even close.